Got Trust?
Not me--nada. At one time, I trusted everyone ( I had no boundaries--NONE)--and now I'm at the other end of the spectrum. I trust no one completely. I'm willing to try, but my history with boundaries is so spotty that I'm still learning what/how/why/when/where/who.
Which means its a lonely road--and I'm the one walking it. This is a common trait for anyone who has been abused in any way--uber sensitivity that is acted out in unrealistic boundaries, or being a control freak, or giving in to addiction, or...pick one!
NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, 2/12/2007
by Dale and Juanita Ryan
(Rooted in God's Love, the book from which these meditations are taken, is back in print. For details go here)
"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"Mark 9:24
We live somewhere between belief and unbelief. Our faith wavers. At times faith is strong and stable. At times it is weak, and shaken.
For many of us, our capacity for trust has been diminished by experiences with people who were not trustworthy. We have learned by painful experience that we will be disappointed if we trust. One of the most intense struggles in recovery is to rebuild our capacity for trust and hope. We want to believe, but we are afraid.
Some people believe that God will respond only to people who 'believe enough'. "If you have enough faith, God will hear you," they say. But Jesus said "All you need is faith the size of a mustard seed." The mustard is the smallest of seeds. God does not reject small, limited faith. God will not ignore even the desire to believe. God will not dismiss a willingness to learn to trust. Mountains have been moved by less. God accepts our limited faith.
Lord, you see my struggle to believe, to trust,and to hope.
You know my fears, my hesitations, my questions.
Help me to accept the limits of my faith.
Help me to bring my limited faith to you.
Amen.
Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
5 comments:
Thanks P. Your post inspired me to post today about the struggle to believe when justice is delayed.
Finding the ability to trust can feel as if it’s a long lonely road but try to remember you’re not alone, He is always with you.
Your post is a reminder that God knows us each of us and He loves us for who we are, because He knows.
He knows, He knows...a song to sing in the dark!
KB, I'll be heading that way...
ah boundaries
perhaps they can start small and tight like a mustard seed, but expand and grow into the tree it was meant to be
if the soil is right
and I think you're cultivating in that direction
I really relate to this. In my own journey I have swung from unhealthy trust/violated boundaries to no trust/tight boundaries. now thanks to a few people in my life (one in particular)I am slowly learning that some people are in fact trustworthy, that while they don't love perfectly, they do love with integrity as repentant, grace-filled people. Something I learned while walking through the hard stuff still makes a lot of sense though, 'love people, trust God'
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