Given that I'm further away from 18 years old than it took to get there, I feel blessed that I can still recall some of my dreams at that age. Getting married and having children wasn't a dream, but a responsibility-one that I took very seriously. I think I've done a pretty good job, even if some days I have been known to send out smoke signals: "SEND HELP!" And of course those days that every mother has when she knows that there will be a Greek tragedy played out RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW if I don't get a break! All mothers have those moments...right?
The Dream was planted in my heart when my pastor stopped in the middle of a sermon and set his gaze on the young people (all 5?6? of us). With great tenderness and tears, he spoke a blessing: "You can change the world. You can change the world."
And then continued with his teaching.
I believed him.
A safe place, a haven, a soft place to fall for those who have been wounded. A place to heal.
It didn't occur to me that this is exactly what I needed, or how long it would take for healing to take place. The seed was planted. El Tosors de la Vida --Treasure of Life.
The decisions, choices, and circumstances in the next few years (years!) took me far away from that safe place, that haven for the wounded hearts. Apparently, someone else was going to change the world. My sin had cost me the chance to change the world, to bring Light to those in the dark the way I had dreamt about. My dream was dust.
Emily has spent the last year since graduating high school struggling with her head vs her heart: What do I want to do? What do I want to be? Who am I? What is my purpose? Do I follow the money or follow my heart?
My tender-hearted girl, chasing one butterfly after another--which one will make me happy? She has struggled with school so much that she asked me to take a few classes with her--she needs the companionship.
And then she decided she wants a degree in psychology.
And then she wants a Master's so she can be a grief counselor.
I've been watchfully waiting for another butterfly to catch her attention, but this is no butterfly.
On Mother's Day, she gave me a book--"One Nation Under Therapy--How the Helping Culture is Eroding Self-Reliance." Her note inside: "We'll be battling ideas when we're both psychologists!" Why, she believes in me as much as I believe in her!
We were researching colleges last week and she started describing what she wants to accomplish: her purpose, what she is meant to do---her dream:
" I want to have a place where hurting people can come and be healed. I want them to feel safe and loved so they can be everything they are meant to be."
Jesus, Jesus, did You hear that ?
Have you ever heard Jesus laugh?
Have you ever had a dream that had turned to dust suddenly come to life right in your face?
12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12